Alice in Wonderland

So I watched 2010's Alice in Wonderland done by the genius Tim Burton. So is this movie a flash of genius well, no quite frankly. Is this movie visually stunning, yes, is the plot any good well no. If I had tackled this project I would have been faithful to Lewis Carrol's original masterpieces and maybe made two films. However, I am not, I am a guy who will probably die un-famous and unregarded as a visionary director. However, I am right in suggesting why screw with a classic story and combine the elements of both books with elements that are original. If you look at Jackson's Lord of the rings trilogy, he may have changed some things but left the series as a trilogy and stayed true for the most part and that is why it works. Even a movie like "No country for Old men" where the Coen brothers changed the basic premise of the original story to be about two men in a struggle, was still dedicated to the original story and dialog why because it is awesome, well the same is true for Lewis Carrol's endeavors written over 100 years ago. The story rocks and the dialog rocks so why fuck with it, well the answer is don't, and that is why this movie kind of sucks. However, if you do lots of hallucinogenics check it out, once again it is visually satisfying.

Avatar

So I watched 2009's Avatar well is it an instant classic well yeah. Is it the best movie ever no! So why a classic. Well this movie was the first really to fully utilize modern 3-d and has done it in a way that was very satisfying, especially since this review is based on my second watching in 2d. Also the animation is spectacular from start to finish. When I think of the artistry that goes into just one second of a movie like this my mind gets blown man. So why is this movie not the best ever, well several reasons but lets focus on some core things, one it is pretty predictable, two the story though original contains many not so original concepts. Well what does "two" mean, well if you change the Na'vi to American Indians you have the plot to almost every movie done about the white man versus the American Indian. Also, if you replace the other main plot point, the need for a greedy nation to have power both literally and figuratively, you have the plot of any anti American movie dealing with the middle east. However, the Na'vi and their world are beyond interesting, and the incorporation by Cameron of both the sci-fi elements he has explored in the past and his love of "aliens of the deep" make this a very satisfying ride. At the end of the day you have to remember this is basically a kids movie, so to look to harshly through any other lens is sort of off the mark.

It's Complicated

So I watched 2009's "It's Complicated" starring Streep, the good Baldwin brother, and the overrated Steve Martin (great stand up, o.k movies for the most part in my opinion). So was this movie good, I have to say ehh. I wathced it because it has a good cast, looked funny, and had Meryl Streep getting high so I thought why not. The story also contained an element I always enjoy cooking. This is a good date movie which at this point I am sick of saying, but it is true. If you are dating someone and it is either early on or you have different tastes, unless you are a pure indy snob, you'll find this movie amusing. However, I would have liked to have seen a darker ending which I think would have made this movie more realistic and therefore good, but it was just more Hollywood tripe at the end of the day.

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans

So I watched "The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans", so is it a ripoff of the earlier work starring Harvey Keitel from 1992 yeah well kind of. Is it a good movie well, its not bad and it could have been good. This movie stars Nicholas Cage in a role in which he is well suited for drug addicted maniac, as well as Eva Mendes as a drug addicted whore a role she is well suited for. This movie is also directed by Werner Herzog which is a job he is not suited for. He is a detail oriented director (Fitzcarraldo) who thrives when he is making documentaries which are character studies (grizzly man). This movie is a character study but is not very detail oriented. It follows a story about a guy and never has to get into the grit of being a real cop, or exploring the setting of a post Katrina New Orleans. This movie also has some hallucinations expreienced by Cage which seem more tacked on, except the last one at the end of the movie, which is also where this vehicle went off the tracks for me. This is a movie for indy lovers, but I believe is one that will be loved by some and hated by others with little in between. So if you love indy films watch it make up your own mind, all I can say is at least it didn't suck.

half baked

So I watched 1998's stoner comedy half baked starring Dave Chapelle. Well was it good......well before I answer lets go over some things. Is this considered to be a good movie, no, is this an indy movie, well technically yes, is it a classic well lets wait to answer that one. So this movie is designed to appeal to a very specific demographic, that is young mostly white stoners. In that regard this movie both ranks as a cult classic and a great movie within the genre. However, in the general sense no its garbage. However, if you are a coming of age stoner in the year 3000 and you uncover this blog in doing research for a school report on how people lived before worm holes were used for space travel, well take out your nuclear powered vaporizer and enter the holochamber and ask your computer to play this stoner madcap romp. And if you are in this century check out a bit role for a then unknown Tracy Morgan.

Lawrence of Arabia

So I watched the award winning Lawrence of Arabia from 1962. Well is it a classic well yeah that's an easy one. This movie stars Peter O'toole as the sexually ambiguous T. E Lawrence who led the Arabs to freedom in the early part of the last century. This movie was directed by David Lean who also won an academy award for "The bridge over the river kwai". What both these movies have in common is a grand scope and an eye for detail that is unparalleled in most movies. The movie has one problem it is 3 hours and 35 minute before the final credits start. It is only a big deal if you are planning to watch it in one sitting, but in general it doesn't play long. The long slow scenes don't play so because you really are brought into those seemingly infinite deserts and feel the struggle for survival experienced by the characters. This movie is about as well made as you can get, there is a fair amount of testosterone thrown around but this movie should appeal to both sexes. It is a true classic.

The crazies

So I watched 2010's the crazies, well was it good it was watchable. This is a movie that is yet another remake of a supposedly superior cult movie. I haven't seen the original but I am intrigued. The story is not unfamiliar government releases
bio toxin that turns members of a small town into crazed killers. There are many holes in the plot, And any social commentary from the original is underplayed. There are some good scares, and some moments that aren't completely predictable. I can't say I recommend it but I can't say it was horribly made either. Look I saw this on my dish, if someone In time besides my two loyal readers see's this review and is curious (or heck them as well), and are intrigued enough to watch this flick, something tells
me you might be happier with the original.

Imaginarium of dr. Parnassus

So I watched 2009's imaginarium... Directed by the great Terry Gilliam and starring the captured soul known once as Heath Ledger. Well was this movie good well....before I answer let's go back in time and review Gilliams repertoire. Holy graile perhaps the greatest comedy of all time, time bandits a magical adventure, brazil perhaps the best "weird" movie of all time, fisher king simply well done kudos, 12 monkeys pretty awesome, fear and loathing my namesake do I need to say it well o.k loved it you bastards. So why mention these well they almost all share one major characteristic and that is you need to see the movie multiple times to both fully understand and fully enjoy the brilliance. So I have just seen imaginarium just once and currently have an ehhhh.. Going which is neither a thumb up or down. I love the director but no matter what this seems to be a weak effort on many fronts. The story is very choppy, and the world he creates is fascinating at times and boring at other times. He bridged this gulf well in fisher king but failed here. I have to watch this movie again to see if like his other films I need that multiple view to fully appreciate the film, but the base measure is not strong. Sorry sir I love you but you did make that damn Grimm movie so the word suck is not unfamiliar to you.

Babette's feast

So I watched the critically acclaimed Babette's feast from 1987. Well is this movie a classic I say a resounding yes. Is it for everyone no! Am I possibly biased because I like Babette am a true artist in the kitchen (yes Fab I know I am full of myself but you have eaten my fare), well possibly but what about all the other people who love this film. This movie is about lost love, struggle, loss, religion, dedication, the paths we take, and the choices we make, it is about joy and acceptance, and learning to free oneself to be happy in the presence of a puritan God, all over a kick ass meal. However, most of all this movie is about that "kick ass" greatest meal ever. In that sense I hate Babette she has a talent I can only dream of having. Of course she is just fictional, but then again there are these asshole chefs in the world who have more talent in their pinkie than I do in my whole fat carcass. I hate being reminded of that I truly wish to be one of the greats of all time, and I believe if I can ever get the ingredients for my pizza together I shall become legend; but I digress. If transformers was not your favorite movie of the last decade, if you did not have to run to see Sex in the City, if your idea of talent is not Ben Affleck, then run don't walk to your computer and download this flick. Or just do what I did and catch it on satellite one day, but by all means see this film, it is really brilliant.

Pirate Radio

So I watched 2009's pirate radio inspired by the real life British pirate radio stations of the 1960's. Well was this movie good I have to say ehhhhh...it was alright. The best part about this movie is the soundtrack, but that is no reason to watch a movie, we all have ipods or pandora so why bother. This movie could have been good but it just tried to do too much and create conflict where apparently there was none in real life. This movie is directed by Richard Curtis who wrote or directed such schmaltzy girl crap like love actually, Bridget Jones Diary, and four weddings and a funeral. These are not bad movies per say but there just fluffy and so was this movie. If you like fluffy movies with ensemble casts then maybe you'll like this one to. Me personally I can stomach his movies but are not in ah of his talents. Stream line the plot, kill off a few characters so we can to know them better, kill the false tension and struggle, then re-shoot it and get back to me.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

That is one powerful fucking poem I tell you. I know it inspires me, and it is one of things that kept Nelson Mandela going during his 25 years in prison. The film Invictus from 2009 directed by Clint Eastwood and starring Matt Damon is a good movie. Is it a great movie hmmmm.....well some of my biggest problems with the movie are things that actually are true, so I don't know what to think. I mean Nelson Mandela chooses a rugby team to be the symbol of cooperation and reconciliation after apartheid, and then shortly thereafter they host the world cup and he in part Drives the team to victory and gets the country to rally together black and white behind this one cause. Well I would normally say come on I can write better fiction in my sleep. However, it pretty much went down that way, so what can you do but heap another log on the grand fire that is the legend of Nelson Mandela. Morgan Freeman does a spot on Mandela and it helps they do kind of look alike. I liked this movie, I didn't love this movie, nor do I think it is a classic in the making, but with time maybe my mind will change. In any event I learned a really kick ass poem.